Without a doubt, living with spasticity demands a certain courage or boldness of spirit. When the symptoms of muscle rigidity, spasticity, and pain became daily and extreme in quality, I knew that I would have many adjustments to make. I knew that my life was in a process of change and that my physical self was going to evolve in a new direction, whether or not I was ready for the changes that were occurring.
As the symptoms continued progressing, my balance and gait worsened, as well. It became hard to manage simple daily living skills with the loss of mobility, due to the increased spasticity. Every-day activities, that were once trivial to perform, were painful and almost impossible for me.
Not only was I adapting to a physical body that seemed as if it were not my own, I was also coming to the realization that I had even more work to do. I had to make some cognitive and spiritual connections that would provide me the courage that I needed to live my life under these new circumstances. My “boldness” or courage to live with spasticity was not something that I simply possessed. It was something that came from making these cognitive and spiritual connections. It was about empowering myself with a new philosophy or worldview. It was about understanding and accepting myself for who I was or who I am. It was about coming to terms with my expectations not being met. It was about having the serenity to accept these things that I really could not change. It was about asking myself where I want to go from here. It was about changing gears and deciding that there might be a detour on the map. It was about not feeling sorry for myself. It was about life, and its sacred significance. It was about making a conscious decision to live each day passionately. It wasn’t an easy journey. But, it’s where my courage came from and it’s what shapes me today.
It is difficult to cope with the changes wrought by spasticity. Difficult, but not impossible. In today’s age of technology, the internet allows us access to wonderful websites, like www.exploringspasticity.com. It gives us the power of information, and provides us an invaluable link to each other. We are NOT alone.
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